Signs & Signals

If you feel like you’re being abused, there’s a good chance you may be, and it’s worth getting help. Keep that in mind as you think about these signs:

Your partner bullies, threatens, or controls you: 

• Accuses you of having an affair
• Blames you for abuse
• Criticizes you
• Tells you what to wear and how you should look
• Threatens to kill you or someone close to you 
• Throws things or punches walls when angry
• Yells at you and makes you feel small

Your partner controls your money:

• Keeps cash and credit cards from you
• Puts you on an allowance and makes you explain every dollar you spend
• Keeps you from working whatever job you want
• Steals money from you or your friends
• Won’t let you have money for basic needs like food and clothes

Your partner cuts you off from family and friends: 

• Keeps close tabs on where you go and whom you go with
• Makes you ask for an OK to see friends and family
• Embarrasses you in front of others, and it makes you want to avoid people

Your partner physically abuses you: 

• Abandons you in a place you don’t know
• Attacks you with weapons
• Keeps you from eating, sleeping, or getting medical care
• Locks you in or out of your house
• Punches, pushes, kicks, bites, pulls hair

Your partner sexually abuses you: 

• Forces you to have sex
• Makes you dress in a sexual way
• Makes you feel like you owe them sex
• Tries to give you an STD
• Won’t use condoms or other birth control

Keep an eye out for things like:

• Excuses for injuries
• Personality changes, like low self-esteem in someone who was always confident
• Constantly checking in with their partner
• Never having money on hand
• Overly worried about pleasing their partner
• Skipping out on work, school, or social outings for no clear reason
• Wearing clothes that don’t fit the season, like long sleeves in summer to cover bruises 

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-domestic-abuse-signs

If you are concerned for the immediate wellbeing and safety yourself or someone else, please call 911 or 1-800-799 SAFE (7233). If you are needing help and recovery, please contact the ARH Foundation.